Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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