you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
