I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it's like iHOP with fire
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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