I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
