Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
