you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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