I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
