It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
