Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
