My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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