I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Randomize
