worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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