Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
