I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
