the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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