I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize