You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you will always have a special place in my vag
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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