So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
