he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
