The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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