Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
