If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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