Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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