Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
