last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
