I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's never too late to be topless.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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