What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
