kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
