SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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