As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
