have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
