after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
