Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
