how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
