absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
