I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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