i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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