I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Randomize
