How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
