47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
