yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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