if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You need a sexual gate keeper
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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