That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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