At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Still dying that you shit outside
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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