And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
