So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
