I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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