Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
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