Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
