the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
