We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
