I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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