and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
