Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
