i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
