Sponge bath it is.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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