So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
