But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
