Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
