***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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