i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
