It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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