Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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